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How To Nicely Decline Mompreneurs–And Keep the Friendship

6 Ago 2015 – 04:27 PM EDT

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Lately, I’m bombarded with promotions from my mom friends who sell skincare, kitchenware, candles, and other items. This spring, I even met up with an old friend who tried to sell me body lotion right after I asked, “So, how are you?”

My grandma was a successful “Avon Lady” in 1970s Brooklyn, but today, I’m just not interested in what many of my girlfriends are selling, from pimple cream to cooking trays. As for those product parties at one’s home? They’re just not my cup of tea. (Wait, I purchased that bancha tea from a friend selling it, right? I don’t even like bancha tea…argh!)

This summer, I have sharpened my “no, thank you,” skills. Here are three ways to nicely decline the mompreneurs in your life without ruining the friendship:

If it ain’t broke…

A simple, “Thanks, but I practically bought out Sephora last week, so I’m good!” should fend off a pushy mompreneur for a bit. Or politely say, “I’m glad that you like these products, but I’m happy with my current skincare regimen.” If invited to a themed-party where guests are encouraged to purchase items, a joke can ease and end the conversation. “Honestly, I’m not exactly Giada De Laurentiis, but thank you for the invite. Let’s meet for lunch one day next week instead,” I said to a friend who sells kitchenware I’ll never use. (Sad, but true. I absolutely lack the culinary gene; I’m a Goya girl all the way.)

Money talks

Moolah is a major reason why I can’t buy goodies from friends, as much as I want to support them. An honest, “Money’s been tight for us lately, so I’m curbing my spending big-time, but good luck selling!” works fine with a mompreneur. (Unless your friend knows about your Jimmy Choo obsession and is skeptical…) Or, just ask for a product sample and explain, “I’m on a budget this month, but if I like the night cream sample, I will let you know.” Maybe down the line you’ll purchase the product, but not now.

Be polite, but upfront

While most mompreneurs–and the products they’re selling–are great, occasionally you may encounter one who bombards you with promotional text messages, phone calls, and emails. Yikes. If a simple “no, thanks” didn’t work, Southern Connecticut-based therapist Julia Israelski suggests using ‘I’ statements to (delicately) get your point across. “Consider saying, ‘I feel badly when you ask me to buy your products because I’m not interested right now. Please don’t think this is a personal attack on our friendship, I’d rather we talk about other things.” Look at it this way, adds Israelski: It’s hard when the salesperson is a close friend, but you also don’t want to be stuck with 3 lbs. of skincare you’ll never use, and couldn’t really afford. And if she ends the friendship because you didn’t buy lipgloss from her, is this someone you’d want as a friend anyway?