Tips For Saving Money Even When You Have a Family

You decided to have a family and while there are many joys associated with your new life choice there is a downside, as well. It’s not just the sleepless nights and crushed goldfish crackers in the carpet that will have you troubled. The fact is, your bank account is going to take a huge hit, and the hits are going to keep on coming. I’m here to tell you how to protect that bank balance from your children, at all costs.

Some would say this is a difficult task, nay, an impossible one, but I pose that saving money when you have children is possible if you follow these completely impractical tips.

Avoid Advertisements

It’s probably fair to say that a large portion of advertisements today is geared toward our children. These ads are very powerful and can have your children dreaming of extravagances like Lego and dolls with hair like silk. In order to completely avoid them you should cancel your cable and for that matter just get rid of your T.V. altogether.

Avoid Toy Shops

If you must run to the grocery store with your children in tow, (and this is strongly discouraged) you’ll need to map out a route that avoids passing by any toys shops. This must be done regardless of distance travelled as gas prices will never compare to the price of a brand new bouncy castle. Even if you must drive to a neighboring town to reach a grocery store in a safe zone, you’ll do it to maintain the integrity of your wallet.

Celebrate Birthdays Every Other Year

Simply tell your children that this is how it’s done in Europe. Tell them they are fancy and high class and must not get caught up in the silliness of birthday cakes and presents. If you’re really committed you can probably skip the first two to three birthdays anyway, because they won’t even notice.

Opt Out of Hot Lunch/Intramurals/Fundraisers/Athletics/Drama Club and After School Care

Opt in to a library card. Explain to your children that reading about all of the above mentioned activities is just as fun as experiencing them. Remind them that the joy of reading will fill any void created by their lack of participation in any activities outside of the home. Eventually the school will stop sending notices home and your bank account will continue to grow.

No More Family Vacations

The world is a dangerous place. Instill this into your children when they are young and they’ll be content to stay home rather than risk the perils of Disney World or worse, the terror of an all-inclusive resort. Explain to them how a well-round individual much prefers the comfort and routine of their own surroundings rather than the dangers that lurk in the outside world.

Good luck parents, you’re going to need it. (sigh)