Halloween is just weeks away. Can you believe it? It seems like we were just talking about how to make the best of the last days of summer and now it’s October. It’s time to think about getting ready for this haunting holiday and we’re here to help. Use this handy guide to Halloween etiquette to make sure it goes without a hitch this year.
You will go all out. Your house will resemble the house of your childhood Halloween dreams. Kids aren’t interested in perfectly placed pumpkins and carefully arranged Fall topiaries. They want scary, spooky and fun. Fill your front porch with kid carved pumpkins, spider webs, and anything else that might make a kid smile. Remember, this isn’t about you. This is about the kids. You can have a tasteful wreath on your door in time for Thanksgiving. On Halloween it should look something like this:
Let the kids choose their costume. If they want to be a rainbow, let them be a rainbow. If they want to be a sword-brandishing-princess-doctor-ninja, then let them. There is nothing sadder, on Halloween night, than a child who doesn’t understand their costume (see below). Where is the fun in that? (Babies are the exception, and should be dressed in costumes that are both hilarious and borderline inappropriate) See below, again.
Unless you have a baby. In that case, do this:
No Apples, Toothbrushes, pamphlets about religion, candy kisses or other such Halloween abominations. Stop ruining halloween. Candy Corn shall only be offered and never added to one’s bag without permission. The treats shall be store bought and individually packaged. Most treats shall be made up of the following ingredients: Chocolate. Candy made of colors not found in nature are occasionally acceptable but only if they are in the shape of an eyeball or a severed finger. You shall have a separate bowl of snacks for children with allergies. These snacks will be of fine quality and individually packaged so that the child’s parent can ensure their safety. Even better, add some non-food treats like stickers and cool pencils. Add a Teal Pumpkin to your porch to alert parents that you have an allergy friendly option for their kids. And seriously no apples, except for the ones you need to make this
drink for after the kids are long in bed: