Sometimes there’s a big downside to your child making friends – dealing with other parents. Sometimes you just aren’t going to like them.
My daughter’s best friend’s mother and I have become like sisters. We have let the other travel with our child and list each other as emergency contacts on school forms.
She’s had other friends with parents I couldn’t wait to get away from. One little girl’s father was especially offensive, constantly burping, making sexist remarks and talking about his money.
I’m not the only one who has had this problem. Here are some stories from other parents and how they handle the other set of ‘rents.
Clicking is essential.
Liking the parents of the friends her children spend time with is really important to Staci Hopkin. “I think clicking with the parents is essential. If our kids are going to spend time together I need to trust them to a certain extent and if there is a reason I don’t like them some of those things would probably also contribute to me not trusting them. This is rare though: usually, if my child likes someone, and I like that child too, the odds are good I like the parents.”
Keep quiet….until you can’t any longer.
Concetta Hall says, “We have a situation where my daughter and this one girl are like oil and water, yet the parent seems to deliberately sign up for everything we are doing. And then, the girl is very mean to my daughter. I haven’t the guts to finally say, “my daughter doesn’t want to be friends with your daughter anymore, stop pushing them together.”
Set your own feelings aside.
Sarah Ringelberg didn’t click with the parents of her son’s friend. “I cannot say I ‘hated’ them, but I didn’t particularly like them. We tried to set our own feelings aside and allow our children to have the relationships that they choose.
Ringelberg isn’t so diplomatic when it comes to matters of safety. “Now, in cases where the parents’ home was not a place I felt my child should be, we intervened and did not allow them to go there.” Hall agrees, “As for parents we don’t trust, we just don’t let our kids spend much time with those kids. And we never let them over to houses where we aren’t familiar with the parents.”
I picked the avoidance method when it came to the father I wasn’t fond of. I deliberately sat far away from him during school meetings. And because his daughter was mean to my child (a pincher!), I didn’t encourage the friendship and it eventually fizzled.
How do you deal with
other parents you don’t click with? Tell us about it in the comments below.