All Children Are Unique
This particularly heading is as nice as it gets for this topic. If you're offering unwanted parenting advice, I'll start with reminding you that all children require very situationally specific care.
Personal Experience: At times I carry my tall-for-her-age, five year old little girl when she gets particularly agitated. She has autism and sometimes needs support that would not be typical for most five year olds. Once as I was carrying her out of the grocery store, I was told by a passerby: "Put that child down, she has two feet, doesn't she?"
It Takes All Kinds
Maybe you get all twitchy when someone mentions their plan to co-sleep or live tweet their birthing experience. In that case, you'll need to be reminded that it isn't always about you.
Personal Experience: I write a blog here. I do this to share our experiences with autism and parenting. There are many, many people that disapprove of my decision to share my family with the online world. I know this, because they all email their complaints regularly.
They're Mine, Not Yours
Or they're theirs, not yours. You know what I mean. You didn't make those babies so you don't get a say. Got it?
Personal Experience: That time when the whole internet got mad at me for vaccinating my children.
Surely, You Have Other Things To Worry About
If you're spending valuable time fretting over other people's parenting choices, does that mean you've mastered the art? Wow, when does your book come out?
Personal Experience: It always mystifies me when people see fit to criticize a parent for doing their best when we are all in this together. Most recently, I was told by an acquaintance that my eldest, who is remarkable sweet and kind by the way, would eventually run away because of the pressure of having a special needs sister.
Who Died and Made You The Parenting Police?
You don't get to be a jerk. It's that simple.
Personal Experience: Just days ago someone told me that my child with severe food aversion associated with her autism was too thin and I should just start feeding her more because she looked awful. She's perfectly healthy (according to the feeding team at the hospital) and she's very beautiful, too.
Maybe my experiences with unwanted advice are a bit different than yours but we all know what it feels like to be torn down by the very people that should be lifting us up.
I know you are trying your very best and I think that is amazing. Parent hard!