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Stop Being a People Pleaser! Tips to Get Some Control Back

4 Ago 2015 – 09:27 PM EDT

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It’s time to stop being a people pleaser and I’m here to tell you how. I, too, suffered from this debilitating sickness and it takes its toll. There are five easy steps to freeing yourself from the demands of people pleasing. And because I know you are a people pleaser, I am going to ask you to read this article, and you’ll do it too. With any luck, though, by the end of the article you’ll be telling me to take my article and…well, that’s really no matter, is it? Check out these five tips.

Re-visit Priorities

What matters to you? Have you really been waiting all week for Saturday to arrive just to watch your co-worker’s kids so he can go to Cross Fit? No, you’ve been dreaming about reading, or sleeping or some combination of the two and that’s exactly what you need to be doing. The next time he books his Cross Fit appointment on a Saturday he’ll have to ask someone else because you have your priorities in order.

Learn to Love Saying No

Does anything really feel better than having plans canceled at the last minute? Just me? You’ve been dreading your second cousin’s wedding so you decide, the day of, that you simply cannot make it. Instead you throw that dress back in the closet, throw on some sweats and get cozy with a little Netflix. It’s kind of like a grown up version of a snow day. Why don’t you practice saying no right now. Go ahead, I’ll wait. There, was that so hard?

Never Apologize

It’s not your fault that you can’t make it to an event or do a favor for someone. I don’t care if it’s great-grandma or even your boss. If you are busy and you must say no, you must never apologize for it. That’s like saying, “I’m sorry I consider my time more important than yours.” You have every right to look our for number one.

Realize You Rule You

It took you eighteen years to gain the right to make your own decisions. Are you going to let your need to make people happy take that away from you? Here’s a new mantra for you to repeat whenever you begin to think you owe someone something. ‘I do what I want.’ Simple right? Say it with me now: ‘I do what I want.’

Commit to Boundaries

I am not asking you to say no to every ask, but I am asking you to set clear boundaries. Think about what time and energy you need for you and your own family before you expend that energy on others. Have you been feeling exhausted lately? Maybe, you’ve been doing too much for too many. It’s time to get it under control.

It may seem easier said than done but for the sake of your health you should stop letting people direct your life. Sure, they might be a little taken aback when they hear their first no from you but they’ll soon realize that you are taking care of business for yourself for a change.