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Having Goals For Yourself Doesn’t Mean You Have to “Do it All”

20 Jul 2015 – 08:40 PM EDT

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You might as well wear a cape for all that you do. Having goals on top of the rest of it can seem overwhelming. Moms these days are tasked with impossible standards. Therefore, it is crucial that we find a balance between showing our kids that we have dreams and that we strongly wish to better ourselves, while allowing ourselves those well-deserved breaks that may or may not include wine. (phew…)

Look, I am as concerned as anyone that my kids grow up with great role models, but I refuse to run myself ragged to prove to them that I can ‘do it all.’ The reality is most moms (or anyone, for that matter) cannot do it all and when they try they put their family and their healthy at risk.

Here are a few tips to show your kids that you’re still in the race but you’re not willing to sacrifice your family to prove it.

Do What You Love: I know, I know. It sounds painfully cliche. The fact of the matter is that doing what you love is the easiest thing in the world. If you’ve dreamed of being a painter, poet or pediatrician, then get to it. If it’s your dream then you’ll love working towards it. Your kids watching you complete a goal that you’ve dreamed of is priceless. Don’t go telling me you’re too old either. That’s just silly talk. Your kids would never say that, and aren’t they the judge and jury you really care about?

Do What Makes You/Them Proud: There is a big difference between making people/yourself proud and being impressive. You can impress people by eating a whole pie (trust me, I know) but you can inspire pride by conquering a long time goal. Have you always wanted to run a marathon, become a pastry chef or even write a book? Go for it. Having goals is a great way to spark excitement.

Do What Makes You Better: The goals you choose should help you grow as a person and as a parent. Learn a language, volunteer or plant a tree. Just make sure you’re doing something that raises you up because your little ones are always watching. It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to make you happy.

It can be pretty easy to fall back into old habits and routines but it’s important to remember that we are setting an example for the most important people in our lives. Don’t feel like you have to be everything to everyone, but please do feel like you have to be good to yourself. Working towards personal goals is a great way to do that.