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Aquí y Ahora - 4 de abril, 2021

5 Abr 2021 – 12:00 AM EDT

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>> tonight on a special edition of aquí yra some dont recognizethemselves in the mirror, others dont like what they see.>> i was seeing fat everywhere, it was horrible.>> the pandemic has been particularly horrible for manywomen. >> children drive you crazybecause you dont have a minute to yourself, even to go to thebathroom. >> with husbands at home,children in virtual classes,ion different strategies to findromance during confinement. >> it is a fear to be in thearena, to take a dive. >> experts make recommendationson maintaining your sanity in circumstances out of ourcontrol. >> this has increaseddissatisfaction and relationships.>> what many hide and what they should not ignore.women on the verge. >> women have faced adisproportionate amount of work during confinement.>> thats right, teresa, many are carrying many of thechallenges of the pandemic. >> welcome to aquí y ahora."according to some experts, some have seen a drop in the equal --quality of lifeivisioni want to to miami.>> it seems like these women have very little in common.they come from different cultures.they have different histories. but these days, we share a lot sin her home and life during the pandemic.>> you want to be seen as someone who is strong.mother is never sad. you think everything has to beperfect and that is not true. >> claudia says the pandemic waschallenging. >> children drive you crazybecause you dont have a minute for yourself, even to go to thebathroom, they are always saying i want this, i want that.>> she says she began having problems sleeping.she began eating at odd hours and her emotions changed.>> was very stressed, i was tired, and i think at some pointi was depressed. >> she says she hit bottom at apoint where she looks for help in an original way.>> i could not control my emotions, i was no longer singlekentucky who devotes her life to her child, her mother, her work,and when she can, to her hobby, photography.>> contagion oriposuction in my back, but i also worked on a lot of areas.>> her transformation was just was also just beginning for another woman.she had finally got her business up and running.>> when i arrived in the united states in 2014, the only jobs icould find were cleaning jobs. >> in venezuela, she had a goodjob in a bank. she the united states, she was afraid to drive.she was also afraid to speak english.>> i would come home and i could not close my hands, my jointshurt, but i thought this is temporary, i will get ahead.>> her children eventually left home to go to school.>> i was sad and depressed for about three months, and then istarted thinking. >> believing in herself droveher to learn english prepared, t country went into a state ofemergency with the pandemic. >> only five people showed upand her husband was diagnosed with covid.she was sad once again. during the pandemic, there werefive times as many cases of ptsd, four times more cases ofanxiety, and three times more depression than what the worldhealth organization normally tracks.there is help in community centers all over the country.>> of course anxiety, stress, the stress that comes fromconfinement, uncertainty. a great deal of uncertainty.fear of not having because people judge them.>> that bothers me, dont do with for them, do it foryourself. >> claudia underwenthypnotherapy. we were at one of the sessions.>> all of the stress caused by the pandemic, all of the stress.>> i was crying and crying and crying.i was like, wow. >> she says during the pandemic,she relaxed ahora other.>> nelly was in one of those groups and began talking to mysesetting myself positive messages.>> and getting ready and dressed to have a great day.>> i can do workshops and underwent a challenge withother women in her neighborhood, including claudia.>> was going through a difficult moment in my abusiness selling food and she has gained about 30 poundsduring the pandemic. >> i bought a girdle but it didnot fit to months later. -- two months later.i would tell women, look, you are healthy, alive, you arefine. >> them, whatthese women and others share is a union with other women, tofeel and help others feel better.♪ >> later -- lies, secrets andrevelations. infidelity during the pandemic.before then, the pandemic and confinement.when a person says they love you but they hurt you.♪ >> confinement, being forced tospend time with certain people, and other stresses have madedomestic violence increase. many women feel maria and herhusband began a life together. >> we were happy, we were at theocean in veracruz. at some .5 years after theirhoneymoon must something happened -- at some point fiveyears after their honeymoon, something changed.her life became a literal hell. they decided to try to savetheir marriage and traveled to the united states.she was 25 years old and he was 33.they were filled with arizona, they began selling corn from a handcart.>> we make enough to cover our expenses.we can pay our bills, the rent. >> the intense work and otherfactors has had consequences. >> it is a different life here,you earn a little more but it also affects your relationshipbecause of the work. there is no time.>> less than one month after giving birth, her husbandinvited her to a wedding. she was feeling indisposed,still viewed >> -- still. >> i did not want to go, so hebeat me with a belt. >> she had no choice but to joinhim. orders, screaming and insultsbecame a daily thing. she let him scream and yell toavoid eating hit, but -- getting hit, but that stopped working.>> i grabbed my daughter and i was headed toward the bedroom asi was carrying her. he was saying things to me andbegan hitting me. >> she tried to protect herdaughter with her own body. >> he was kicking me.>> according to her, he kicked open a door and destroyedeverything in his path. he dragged her and the childrenfrom the house with no shoes or anything to cover themselveswith. >> we went to the woman who tookcare of our children and called the police.>> waterloo bay -- this woman cleaned properties everyday.when she came home, she faced beating after beating andreconciliation after reconciliation.then the pandemic came and they were together.>> there isnt enough money, there isnt that.>> life became impossible, she said.>> you talk too much, you dn hom ending any shred of love betweenthem. >> her husband got covid and shebecame his nurse and financial support until she also becameill and lost her job. he did not forgive her for that,she said. among other things, he wasunfaithful to her. >> i thought to myself, wherewill this end? things got so bad i had to leavethe house. >> this marriage therapist tellsus violence against women has become a pandemic within apandemic. she suggests looking for help.>> and for their children.>> you need to protect yourself with the plan to tell people youtrust that you are in danger. >> you can have a code wordwhich people on social media that only you and people youtrust will recognize, that means you are in danger.>> marcella searched for help. >> you are left with are not living well anymore. after that, you are not going tosleep well anymore. you are thinking, if he hit youand that that, you start thinking he might do more andhurt your children. >> they have had to endurebeatings, insults, but they have also had to live under terror.they also have an irregular immigration status, which makesthem feel trapped with no way out.until they discovered they had options.>> you have got to press have got to know you are not alone.>> josé guzman founded an organization for parents andvictims of crime. he says they should find outabout their rights and exercise them.>> women need to find help. there is help, it doesnt matterwhat your migratory situation is.>> just in this organization, domestic violence has tripled.>> i am afraid my children will grow up and have a partner whodoes the same thing their father does.that they might think it is something normal to beat awoman. >> she and guadalupe seemdetermined to have peace again. >> sometimes it is better toleave. >> you have to protect thechildren. >> it has domestic violence.>> what do your children say? >> one says to me forgive ourfather come of the other says do not forgive them.>> what she knows for certain is it is time to begin a newchapter in her life. -- cupidsoptions during confinement. >> you get to the third o y ahor♪ >> as we saw previously, thepandemic has affected the emotional stability andself-esteem of women. this is a challenge many singlewomen have had to face in the last few roberts tells us how some women have overcome theirown prejudices and fears to look for love in the time of covid.>>yms close during the pandemic, her busydays were replaced with confinement.>> you are at home, you do what you can with your children,homework, with food. there was no way out.>> confinement had her on the brink of depression.>> you say to yourself, i cannot go out, i cannot get togetherwith friends to have a cocktail. ive got to be at home.where will i meet somebody? >> divorce for eight years,jasmine says time passes. >> you get to the third andfourth month and you think i cannot anymore.♪ >> on the others of the country,danielas social life actress, sh angeles, california.every weekend, she had a place to go and friends to spend timewith. 30 something without a boyfriendand trapped at home, she was left with no choice but tomeditate. >> during the pandemic, i havegiven myself the task to know myself better, to beintrospective, and my friends who were seeing this virtually,they were to a message. >> with over 1500 dating profile, carefully determining how much to reveal about herself.jorge works for the app chispa, signed especially for latinos inthe u.s. and says there are questions all users askthemselves. >> this person who is talking tome, what is behind the profile? is this a good person, andhonest person? >> he says there are severalways to detect fake profiles. >> there is a system thatdedicates itself to checking profiles and verifying theauthenticity of the profiles and this gives you a tiny bit moresecurity than if you miss -- you meet someone, a stranger.>> during the pandemic, he says the number of users of chispahas increased almost 30%. paying clients increased almost70%. still, many ask themselves howdoes the experience compared to going to a bar, for example?>> i would say they are as safe or as unsafe as going to a bar.when you go to a bar or a public place, you really dont know whoyou have in front of you. >> estella is the director of apsychotherapy clinic and hip gnosis clinic in mexico city.she says the biggest fear for many women who join a dating appis the fear of being judged. >> you think if i join this kindof digital platform that i am going to be judged for it.>> this woman prefers having her first contact be on the phone oron video chat. >> weve gotten used to usingour computers to set up dates and i think that helps us feel alittle more comfortable in this situation.♪ >> she says she has not foundher prince charming yet, but it has been fun.>> i have met some interesting people.i am not always going to think you are the right person for me,but we might be friends. i think that is the best thingabout this, that you dont just have it to find a partner, youcan find a friendship. >> she says a complement hashelped her self-esteem. >> people say i want to talk toyou and send you a message, and that helps you, it encouragesyou. >> you have got to have a shot,and a full shot of self-confidence.say i deserve to be daniela and after publishing her profile, alot of time passed before she got her first direct message.>> it was like, match -- what is this?i was like, calm down, calm down.>> she said to herself, breathe deeply.>> it doesnt mean this will lead to anything.>> she says she responded the first thing that came to hermind. >> i hope youre having a goodday. >> that is boring, daniela.>> i was so nervous because my friends, they all said that isboring, what are you doing? >> even so, she started a goodconversation. jasmine says how she gets readyfor her virtual dates. >> it is the same as if i weregoing out. i will take a shower, i put onmakeup, i do my hair, i put on a dress.>> but no heels. >> no, i will do it in sneakers,but it is a normal date. you are not at a restaurant or abar, but you also feel more comfortable because you are athome. >> for durham, it is importantto be realistic about expectations.>> many women have their bridal gown in the trunk of their car.they will meet somebody and imagine an engagement ring andwedding. >> this expert is of the opinionthat the pandemic and technology has opened new doors for us.>> how awesome what awaits us. if i was able to touch yourheart before touching your skin, just wait until we have that datearly to decide if she has met the love of her life, for nowshe is having a good time. >> what i would recommend isdont be afraid. when it comes time to take thatfirst step, you are just sending a text, you are not saying marryme. it is just a text message.what is the worst that can happen?it will be fine and that is it. >> after a break -- for manycouples, the pandemic was the straw that broke the camelsback. infidelity and divorce in themiddle of a crisis. >>ra♪ >> in the middle of a lot ofstress and imitations, for many couples, the pandemic was of thewe spoke with a couple of women who found out their husbandswere cheating on them and found out they were not the only onesexperiencing infidelity during these times.>> veronica hides her identity. according to her, it is whatlittle remains to her. during the quarantine, she saysshe lost a lot, including her dignity.>> i thought this would be a good change, it would bring ustogether. it was not like that.>> for this woman, the changes were not what she anticipated,and partway through last year, things became difficult.>> i would find him sometimes nervous or upset.>> things turned strange. >> according to her, there wasalways justification. >> he always used the pandemicas an excuse. he would say i am like thisbecause of the pandemic, the problems were this or that, butit was not the pandemic. >> not far from her home incalifornia -- >> i told my friends, have younoticed your husbands are a little strange now?>> this homemaker we will call alayna was going through asimilar situation and so were her friends.>> they were saying it is like they are angry all the time andblaming the pandemic. >> one day her adolescentdaughters found out the truth. >> they said sit down because wewant to tell you something. i was like, what happened?>> her husbands bad mood, whom she had been married to foralmost 30 years, was not because of covid-19.>> they said my father has another family.i did not understand them, maybe i was in shock.>> according to elena, they found on social media picturesof their father with another woman and a daughter.>> what hurt the most was seeing him carrying this little newborngirl, and it said he was the best father in the world.>> according to therapists, the pandemic and its effects likeunemployment and months of confinement have made manymarriages more vulnerable to extramarital relationships.>> there are couples that have used this as a way of gettingcloser together. they have seen life is short.other couples that were already disconnected, what this has doneis increase the dissatisfaction within the relationship.>> covid changed everyones life, including the lives of theunfaithful. with motels and parks close,these people found out technology could help them.>> places online to meet someone .they are getting 21,000 new members per day, compared to7000 before the pandemic, according to a technologypublication. that is not all, according todr. wolf. >> what technology has done ismake things easier with facetime, zoom meetings.there are many ways of saying i have got a meeting, it isconfidential, you go somewhere else, and that is can have your partner in another room.>> veronicas husband wasnt counting on his -->> he was sending messages to a woman.>> after months of suspicions, she found a secret cell phonethat he had to keep his extramarital affair secret.>> she was a young woman, 18-20 or so.they were talking to each other even though he denied it.>> veronica was able to unmask her husband alone, but noteveryone who suspects their partner of being unfaithful isable to do so. many find additional help.>> my name is fernando and i am a private investigator.>> like this private detective, who says the pandemic has notmade unfaithful people disappear.>> the number of cases we handle between -- handle, 20-25 casesper month in both of our offices, florida and california.>> what has changed in the last year, according to alvarez, isthe way they spy on people with clandestine relationships.>> things get more complicated when the relationship isexclusively virtual, because then communication is occurringin scenarios where privacy is presumed, so it is hard toinvestigate that. >> he did not want to reveal hismethods for capturing people who are unfaithful online, but hesays many times passion leads people to slip up.>> they will make calls in a public area where someone canhear, or the use -- they use technological methods that thefamily uses. >> they go to a park, meet incars because i cannot go to hotels, or they will gosomeplace where they have some privacy.>> how do you identify or follow the person when you have got touse face masks in public? >> that has made things moredifficult to identify the person.we dont have a quick way of identifying someone.we have got to communicate with the client so they can identifythem. >> for elena, knowing the truthabout her marriage still feels like a bucket of cold water.>> i feel betrayed. you trusted somebody blindly.i still dont understand. i think this is some kind ofdream i am experiencing. >> for veronica, it is the firststep in recovering her self-esteem.>> the truth is, i am very sad, very i am thinking, who is he with?he will say i love you, forgive me.there is no forgiveness. >> according to them, covidhelped their former partners be unfaithful, but empowered themto no longer live with secrets. >> when we return -- for manywomen, the pandemic♪ >> some women lost their jobs,others had to take on additional responsibilities at home.despite this crude reality, some have found strength in thecrisis. we spoke with some whoreinvented themselves and tell us how they became triumphant.>> over a year ago, fabiola sat at her computer every daylooking for a job that would make her happy.>> the pandemic came and i was even less likely to find a job.>> this woman, this mexican woman sold funerals and evenworked in a warehouse. >> it is very wasnt permanent, it was temporary.>> with the quarantine, her husbands income dropped.he was a bus driver and they found themselves in financialstraits. >> you need more money, you haverent, youve got bills, you have car payments.>> unemployment and the lack of money reminded her of a timeover 20 years ago when she first came to the united stateslooking for a better life. >> it was very traumatic becausewe would suffer a lot of things, especially when you are a singlemother and fleeing your country. >> during the pandemic in theunited states, millions of women saw how their dreams andopportunities disappeared rapidly.>> the place where i worked closed, so i was left without ajob. >> before covid-19, jezebellearned how to multiply hours in the day to take turns with herhusband to take care of their children.>> i would work at night and care for them during the day.i had very little time to sleep and rest, and that brought withit health consequences. >> it was her first job with awork permit. before then, she had to strugglelike many undocumented immigrants.>> it was difficult, i would sometimes see the police andbecome nervous, i was afraid i would get into a problem when iwent to work, because you had to go to work.>> of the money she made, she always sent some to her familyin venezuela, until coronavirus came.>> for me, it was very frustrating because i didnthave any extra money for them. it was troubling.>> the same thing happened to fabiola, who every month wouldhelp her mother and daughter who live in puebla, mexico.>> i could not help them for a while because there was nomoney. there was no way to earn money,there was no work to help them. i stopped helping them for awhile. >> fabiola and jezebel not onlylost their jobs, with confinement came a fear ofbecoming a victim of immortal virus.>> people were dying everywhere. you could become ill at anyplace. >> they became among themillions waiting for normality to the last year, many more women have lost jobs, leavingthem more vulnerable than they were before the pandemic.for every 100 men in extreme poverty, there are 118 women.but they keep fighting. >> fabiola in los angeles andjezebel in miami discovered quickly that either they gotback up or the quarantine would not forgive them.>> it was very difficult. but the desire to fight and keepgoing our stronger still. -- are stronger still.>> fabiola had the same thought. >> i said to myself, i need tocreate a business, do something. >> thats how she went back toher computer, this time to learn about something she had beenthinking about a long time. >> thats when i had this ideato create my own natural, artisanal soaps.>> with schools closed, internet and online sources were her bestallies. >> was watching videos onyoutube, tutorials. all of these tools i was like a>> not knowing it, she was not alone.on the others of the country, jezebel remembered that as agirl, she liked making artisanal accessories.did you think that would be your path?>> i love design, i love crafts, and i thought this might be aforte of mine. >> fabiola bought a machine todehydrate flowers and aromatic things for her soaps.she read a lot to answer questions she had and shelearned how to handle glycerin to offer a rod act that isorganic and natural. >> alright, i said what are thesteps, what do i have to do? what is this for?>> these soaps? >> they discovered talents theydid not have and they did not know.>> the soaps and accessories stopped being a dream.>> i felt out of myself. i feel capable of getting aheadand finding an income. >> but something was missing.>> how to get customers. >> the first thing i did is iopened and instagram page and i started publicizing.i would post every day, i had stories.>> they were connected despite the 3000 miles that separatedthem. >> i began advertiing artisanalsoaps and began creating pictures to upload.very creative and very pretty. >> i got your stove order.-- soap order. >> the calls began to come in,their sales went up and their husbands were surprised.>> he said you sold all this? i said yes.he said, you are earning more than me, you are earning morethan you. you are selling a lot.>> they are so far from being completely independent.fabiola uses her car as an u ber driver.>> i am doing uber, selling soaps, i am cooking at home.>> jezebel is also looking for more income.she also is a representative for catalog sales.>> ive got two businesses at the same time.i do the accessories and i also promote sales and help otherwomen do the same thing i am doing.>> they both know it is part of a process.for now, they are in a daily struggle, hoping to be anexample for women who feel they have lost it all.>> without a doubt, these are very brave and creative women.before we finish, we need to reiterate what the experts said-- we need to do some thing positive and celebrate results.>> we also need to find help. there are many womens groupsand counseling services available in every state.>> that brings us to the end of this edition of aquí y ahora."thank you and we will see you soon.

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