Well, I certainly wasn’t going to tackle this one alone. I enlisted some of my girlfriends and asked one of their husbands to let us use his gaming system so we could try out Grand Theft Auto, the game that all the kids are talking about. He kindly sent us to the basement and it went a little something like this:
“How do you turn this thing on?”
“I think you put it in upside down.”
“What does ‘loading’ mean?”
“Hand me that clicker thing so I can get started.”
“Which button is jump?”
You get the picture. We were not prepared in the least and after waiting for the game to ‘load’ for twenty minutes we were ready to give it a go. As the game loads it treats you to a picturesque slide show of some of the characters you’ll meet as you play. I will only say that you woudn’t want any of them to sit beside you on a plane.
Once the game was loaded, two of the four of us grabbed our controllers (as I later learned they were called) and began the game. The shady characters on the screen began talking and moving around and neither of us knew if we were responsible for any of it. We pressed buttons and moved the controllers up and down in the air (as novice video gamers do) and still we could not tell if we were controlling any of the characters on the screen. Eventually, one of the characters came to a door. The instruction “Go through door” flashed on the bottom of the screen. We tried and tried and tried again by passing the controllers around the room to see if any of the four of us could get the man through the door. We had been playing all of three minutes and we were stuck. Thinking back to the slide show we were treated with as the game prepared itself we decided we were not that interested in seeing what was behind the door so we poured a glass of wine and took advantage of having an hour all to ourselves.
Now, I had already committed to writing this article so I knew I had to experience this game at some point, so the following day I asked my husband to come back with the girls and I to the basement and help us get through that door. Within minutes we were experiencing Grand Theft Auto in all of its glory and it went a little something like this:
“Oh my God. Did I just shoot that guy?”
“Am I bad guy or a good guy?”
“My children will NEVER see this game!”
“Who is she? What is she doing?”
“Okay, I’m gonna need that drink now.”
Suffice it say that we moms are not fans. We found the game to be full of gratuitous violence and offensive to both men and women. I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be venturing down the Grand Theft Auto path again, but did I hear there was a game called Madden? I’m assuming it’s about designing killer shoes.