Confession: I’m a little confused when other moms say they lose touch with their childless friends over the years. In reference to my (still favorite) 90’s TV series Sex and the City, I feel like the Miranda to the many Carrie’s and Samantha’s in my life. I’m still in touch with my single girlfriends, married ones without children, and married/co-habitating ones who just don’t want children, period–and I mean in touch beyond the occasional facebook LIKE. I can’t imagine my life without all my besties; and I refuse to believe I’m any different than I was before my daughter was born. Ok, I have bigger bags under my eyes now and struggle to stay out past 10 p.m., but I’m still Rachel–quirky, self-depricating, book-loving, hat-collecting Rachel. This month, I decided to dedicate a special blog post to my child-free true blues. Here are three reasons why I adore my non-mom buds:
They affectionately laugh at my parenting attempts
In a moment of desperation, I once found myself locked in a minuscule deli bathroom with my infant perched on my lap. What could I do; I had to “go” –STAT–and the stroller wouldn’t fit in the tiny bathroom with me. I wondered who would appreciate this vision, and sent a text to my non-parent friend Renee saying, “Started my day on the toilet in a deli bathroom with a baby on my lap. How’s your day going?” When she wrote me back: HAHAHA, you crack me up! I knew I sent the text to the right person. So, thank you Renee, for laughing with me, not at me, and not making me feel like a lousy parent. I could always make Renee laugh, and I’m glad–even post-baby–she still appreciates my kookiness.
They were there for me during a rough pregnancy
When I told my non-mom friends I was on bed rest for 13 weeks, they were there for me every step of the way in my pregnancy; proving babies or no babies in our lives, the core friendship is solid. They provided me with laughs, smiles and hugs, and sent me weekly “Thinking of You” text messages. One friend even said to me, “You’re still my friend Rachel, now there’s just a mini Rachel as well”, and she’s right. They love me, so by default, they love my baby; and I love them for supporting me through my pregnancy and through motherhood even if they’re not in the baby bandwagon.
They let me live vicariously
I live vicariously through my friends as they navigate blind dates, apartment hunting, shopping, and everything else life tosses at them. I get jealous when they have a great night out when I’m home with globs of food in my hair, and beyond exhausted from mommy-ing. Non-mamas–keep keeping me in the loop so I don’t feel left out–please! I love you all; kids, no kids… we’re all in this journey called adulthood together.