I sometimes feel that I am failing my kids. They live a pretty comfortable life with all the latest gadgets and get to go on some pretty cool vacations, but in the back of my mind I always get the feeling that I am not doing enough. We spend a good amount time together playing in the yard or watching TV, but should I be doing more?
What is it that my kids will remember?
Will they remember a childhood where they went to places like Disney World, or France, or Italy? Or will they remember the nights where we watched too many episodes of Modern Family because their dad was too tired to do anything else? Will they remember the games of football in the front yard, or will they remember how long I sat in the bathroom because I needed a break?
I ask my kids all the time if they remember certain things like trips that we have been on. My ten year old, who has the most amazing memory, usually says that he does, but when I ask him about certain details he has no idea. It makes me sad. As much as I want them to, perhaps they won’t remember a thing about their childhood. I don’t remember too much about when I was a kid either. Most of my memories involved playing sports and much of them have faded over the years. I can generally remember things from my life, but as far as specifics are concerned, much of my life before I had kids was a blur.
I know one day my kids will look back fondly on their childhood. They might not remember dressing up like a gladiator outside of the Colosseum in Rome or buying a stuffed bull in a little shop in Provence, but those are things that I will remember. They won’t remember having a sword fight in front of Chambord or catching a foul ball at Wrigley Field, but I will. Perhaps we don’t really create memories for ourselves until we try to create them for other people.
Right now I AM doing enough to create lasting memories… for me.