Whether you have a brood of your own or you’ve yet to start your family you can easily fall into the trap of saying the wrong thing to a new mom. Be careful to choose your words wisely and remember, she’s seriously hormonal and no jury in the land would convict her.
1. Mine slept through the night right away.
This is the absolute worst. The odds are the new baby is not going to sleep through for a number of months. A tired, post-labor mom doesn’t need to hear how your child was giving you eight hours right out of the gate. Keep it to yourself and be thankful because the rest of us suffered some serious sleep deprivation.
2. You’ll never sleep again.
This is a tad dramatic. Yes, she’ll probably not see a four hour stretch for a few weeks but she’ll eventually get there. There are ways to get the sleep you need and instead of scaring her, why not tell her how to sneak in a nap now and then.
3. Are you going to breastfeed?
This is none of your business.
4. Did you have a C-section or a vaginal birth?
Why does it matter? The woman just labored for hours and delivered a little piece of perfection. However the medical professionals deemed it safest to get that baby here was the best route for mom and baby. Again, none of your business.
5. Are you going to have another?
Relax, she’s barely forgotten what a contraction feels like. Give the girl a break. It’s kind of hard to fathom doing it all again when you are still recovering.
6. Are you finally done having kids?
There is no cap on the number of kids one can have. Kids are great and if she wants a baseball team than you should cheer her on and offer to babysit once in a while.
7. I know three children with that name.
When a new mom and dad name their baby it is a very special experience. Their little one is the only one that matters and they don’t need to be told the name they chose is common because to them it is as unique as their little one.
8. What are you feeding him? He’s huge.
It’s not like she’s feeding him steak and potatoes. She’s feeding him milk and you know it. He’s happy and healthy and perfect. How would you like someone to say that about you?
9. She’s so tiny. Are you sure she’s getting enough milk?
She’s getting just what she needs and she’s just fine. If for some reason she was not, her mother would be on top of it. You can count on that.
10. Say goodbye to your social life.
False. Say hello to a whole new world of mommy groups. There are so many opportunities to be social once you have kids. Her calendar will be full of ‘Mommy and Me Yoga’ and ‘Baby Book Club’ before she knows it. Also, if she needs a little ‘me time’, daddy can be on-duty or call in a sitter.
Now that you know what NOT to say why don’t you grab a couple of lattes and head over to see that new mom. Tell her she looks great and remind her that she can drink wine again and you’ll do just fine.