Losing your temper with your child is not the end of the world and it may happen many times throughout your lives. It is quite easy to lose your temper with your kids when you are sleep deprived or have had a stressful day at work. When your second-grader throws ketchup all over your white carpet or your rebellious teenager starts a fight at school, it is natural to lose your cool. There are many ways to deal with the situation after you have unleashed your angry side. Just take a deep breath and use some of these suggestions.
When you get angry and scream or yell at your child, take time to step away from the situation. Walk away for a few minutes and relax yourself. You have to the calm down the negative energy that made your blood boil in the first place. Go off to a silent space and cry, vent or just lie down to calm your nerves. Then you will be able to return to your child and talk about it in a calm and effective manner.
Say You Are Sorry
If your temper was triggered by something minor or if you said something hurtful when you were angry, apologize. Teach your child that saying you are sorry is very important when you are in the wrong. When your child hears you say this to them, they will feel validated and begin to understand that an apology is always important for successful family relationships. If you do or say something negative that you wouldn’t normally say, apologize.
Talk About Why You Are Angry
A healthy family talks about their miscommunications, arguments, and problems right after they occur. Explain why you got angry in the first place and let your child know what you expect from them. For examples, if they threw food across the table at their sibling, say that this is unacceptable and they have been told it isn’t allowed many times. The reason why you finally blew your lid is because they disobeyed your wishes.
Discover What Triggers Your Temper
It is written in your child’s job description that they should annoy you every now and then. It is part of parenting and is what teaches us to be even more patient than we already are. What is it that makes you riled? Is it when your kids are loud and irritating? Is it when they swear, are lazy, or when they leave their dirty socks everywhere? Find out what bothers you most and discuss these specific issues with your kids, asking them to participate at home by following these rules.
The most important thing that parents should do after losing their temper with their kids is to speak with them. Silence is not a healthy way of dealing with anger and kids may feel scared to approach you after seeing you flip out. Once you calm down, make an effort to spend some time with your child and talk it out. Share a hug too, you’ll both need one.