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Losing Yourself in the Midst of Parenthood, How to Find Yourself Again

Losing Yourself in the Midst of Parenthood, How to Find Yourself Again

Way back when I was a kid, I dreamed of becoming a mom. I loved everything about pregnancy and babies. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could push my newborn baby in a stroller. I wasn’t interested in having a career or this “finding yourself” stuff–I knew what I wanted–I wanted to be …

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Way back when I was a kid, I dreamed of becoming a mom. I loved everything about pregnancy and babies. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could push my newborn baby in a stroller. I wasn’t interested in having a career or this “finding yourself” stuff–I knew what I wanted–I wanted to be a professional Mom.

To grasp an idea of how passionate I was about this mom stuff, I gave up a spot on the Deaf Olympic team and the opportunity to play volleyball in Russia. I didn’t want to put off motherhood another two years. So I stayed home and got pregnant instead. Every two years, I popped out a kid. One day blended into the next. There were some days I wanted to tear my hair out, but most days I loved being a mom.

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Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I had shifted so much of my life around the kids that I forgot who the heck I was or what I was passionate about. I was extremely fortunate though, because right in the middle of “mid-life,” I found myself again. I looked back into my life– way, way back into my teen years and I remembered the stuff that brought me joy. Barefoot water skiing. Writing. Meeting new people. Helping others. Making a difference.

I dove smack dab into every one of my passions again. I took up competitive barefoot water skiing. I read new books and I wrote several books of my own. I uncovered new passions and I gathered new mentors into my life. I learned, I failed, I learned all over again. In the midst of the parenting journey, finding myself again lead to many moments of joy. The kids liked the happier version of mom. So did the husband.

So if you find yourself drowning in the midst of parenthood, you owe it to your family to commit to the process of finding yourself again.

Take Time for Yourself

Take the time to care for yourself–physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you continually put yourself last on the list, there will come a day when you have nothing left to give. Fuel yourself in such a way that you can continue with the energy you need to be the best parent possible. Meditation and hot baths are my personal rejuvenation tactics.

Unwrap Your Passions

What fires you up and brings you joy? What are you passionate about? If you’re not sure, grab a book such as The Passion Test or What is Your WHAT to discover your passions. Set aside time each day to dive into your passion in some way. With every action you take, you are either moving closer to your passion or away from it. Evaluate what you can shift in your day to devote time to your passions. Children benefit from having parents who are tapped into their passions and live with joy. If you find yourself stuck, consult with a mentor or life coach.

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Try Something New

One of the dangers of parenthood is being trapped in the routine of life, when one week blends into the next with the kid’s schooling, activities, and sports. When that happens, it’s time to spark that fire inside. If you’re not sure what you’re passionate about, chances are, you need to step out of your comfort zone to try something new. Sign up for a class. Learn a new skill. Attend an event. Network with different people. Visit a place you’ve never been to before.

Don’t lose yourself in the midst of parenthood. A happy parent spreads positive energy into the family. Dive into your passions and bring joy into your life.

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