Parenting isn’t an easy job and there are moments when we fall into using some bad parenting techniques. It is normal to say the wrong thing or make a mistake when parenting your child, but there are some specific statements and phrases that should be avoided at all costs. Some phrases that parents may say either on a regular basis or in the heat of the moment can be extremely damaging to a child. Watch your words and if you slip up and say any of these statements or phrases, find a way to remedy the situation.
You Are Useless or a Failure
This is one that every parent should avoid saying to their child, even if you say it without any real emotion behind it. You may say ‘ you’re useless’ when your child keeps failing to do a chore correctly, but this type of comment can really ruin a child’s self-esteem and confidence in their abilities.
I Wish You Weren’t My Son or Daughter
This is up there as one of the most hurtful comments a parent can say to their child. Bad parenting galore! While it may be said in the middle of a heated argument, it simply isn’t acceptable. Even though the argument will end and moods will change, your child will always remember this comment and it may impact them deeply, making them feel unloved.
I’m on a Diet Because I am Fat
If you choose to lose 20 pounds, good for you! Just keep it to yourself. If you are constantly talking about your own body in a negative manner, they may eventually start judging their body negatively as well. If your entire household must know you are on a diet, then make sure they are told that your reason for losing weight is to improve your overall health. If you are constantly saying ‘I’m fat’ or using other negative self-talk terms, your child will pick them up.
You’re Ok (When Clearly They’re Not!)
If your child falls and badly cuts their knee or falls off of something, try not to tell them that they are “fine.” This type of statement can confuse a child with regards to expressing their emotions and feelings. If a child is hurt, try saying something that validates the situation such as, “that was a scary fall” and then offer them comforting solutions such as asking them if they want a kiss, hug or band aid. Saying they are fine when clearly something is not fine, doesn’t validate their feelings.
Why Can’t You Be More Like….
When a child is compared to their sister, cousin or the child next door it can make them feel unworthy and not good enough. Never compare your child and love them for the unique individual they have come to be.
Parenting is never a smooth and easy task and there will always be bumps along the road. Make sure you offer comfort and unconditional love to your child to help them grow into healthy, confident adults.