Kids are easy.
Of course I never realized that until our family decided to get a dog. I thought that kids needed our undivided attention, but it turns out they don’t need nearly as much as our little canine companion. I could put the dog in a crate all day and save myself from most of these problems, but what is the point of having a dog if it’s going to be locked in a cage all the time?
Here are five ways raising a dog is than harder than raising a kid:
1. They have FOUR feet. Kids take a little while to start walking so you can get your act together, but a dog seems to be running on all four as soon as it’s born. We got our puppy at nine weeks old, three months later it hasn’t stopped running in circles.
2. They have teeth. I know that kids get teeth too, but not of the razor blade variety. Dogs like to chew, they like to bite, they like to get their mouths on EVERYTHING. My kids don’t chew on the walls, they haven’t torn apart my carpets, and they don’t rip open their toys leaving white stuffing everywhere. My dog? She leaves a trail of bite marks all over my house.
3. They bark. It’s been a while for me since I have heard a baby scream, so perhaps my memory has lapsed, but there is nothing more annoying than a dog that barks. They bark to go outside, they bark for water, they bark at their own reflection in a mirror, they bark at shadows, they bark at the door bell, and they bark at the sound of a door bell on TV. Imagine someone in your house just screaming “hey!” all day. It would get annoying real quick.
4. They poop and pee. Just like a kid they relieve themselves all the time, only a dog does it wherever they feel like it. I sometimes wish I could go back to the days of diapers, so I’m not finding a doody bomb in the corner of my living room. If you are going to get a dog, make sure you don’t have carpeting in your house. Eventually she will get it, but even then she might just squat and drop a load on the kitchen floor.
5. Everything seems toxic to a dog. While kids might act like that avocado is poisonous and not eat it, to a dog it is. Not that I want my dog eating human food, but you never know what our furry friend is going to get into. Everything from grapes and raisins, to chocolate, to onions and garlic seems like it could kill a dog or at the very least make them violently ill. I never read labels for my kids and now I find myself doing it for the dog.
Sometimes I wish my son asked for a baby brother instead of a dog. Raising a dog is so much harder.